Attention

Dear Dental Hygienists of the world,

Thank you for all of the truly hard and disgusting work that you do to keep our teeth bright and shiny.  I'm not really sure what they teach you in school but let me help you out a little...

I want vaseline on my lips because you are prying my mouth open about 10 degrees more than it's supposed to go. 

I know that your kids are very special and wonderful people but I don't know you or them and I just want to lay here in silence (this goes for manicurists and pedicurists too... and some hair dressers).

Thank you for being a perfectionist but those gums are supposed to be there...  I don't think you are supposed to scrape them off as well.

I guess that is all for now... see you in 6 months!  Can't wait to hear some more riviting stories about your kids.

Thanks,
Your patient