It's been brought to my attention that I have not been blogging as much lately. I guess there's a few reasons for that. The biggest one is... I really never want to discuss private matters online.
A few weeks ago I felt God urging me to pursue a different direction at work. So I did (of course). I don't really know why I felt this urging. I decided (prayerfully) that this was not the direction I needed to go after all. Maybe He just wanted me to appreciate where I am. Who knows?? I know God knows and that's all that matters.
This past weekend I was able to go to Memphis to see Beth Moore with my church. Thankfully, my mom and Rachel were able to come too! It was such a blessing and an experience to be able to share this with them! God revealed many truths to me through this weekend. The arena was 13,000+ strong! It was truly overwhelming at first to hear those 13,000+ voices praising and worshiping God. Once the tears started, there was no stopping them!
One of the coolest things I noticed about Beth Moore was how she can tell you a story/example that is very personal and you know exactly how to use it, what happened and everything but you have NO details whatsoever. It's amazing to realize that I probably run my mouth too much and tell everything I know. This is definitely something I will be working on. There are just so many things to work on.
Some insights from this weekend at Beth Moore and other stuff....
- How deeply do we allow God to heal our wounds? Do we only let Him apply superficial dressing to mortal wounds?
- I HAVE to discipline myself. I have so much "self" discipline in every area of my life except my weight... food... exercise. It's because every other area is to please everyone else. Do I just not feel worthy of doing what's best for myself?
- I love MY bed! After ~12 hours on a church bus and a few in the hotel, I was ready to "waller" all over my bed.
- I need to tame my tongue and guard my facial expressions.
- God is abounding in love - He fights for us. He is loyal to us and we don't deserve it for one second. God Is Love. In order to love you less, He would have to become less. Love is his "is-ness". When nothing else makes sense.... go back to the simple undeniable fact that "Jesus loves ME! This I know" - not "think" not "assume" - KNOW.
- God maintains His love/ GUARDS his love so that he remains zealous for us. Do we do the same? for him? for our spouse? for our friends/family?
- Love is a willing feeling - it's a decision.
- God never withdraws his love from us but he does withdraw his blessings (think parents, grounding)
- Pain (emotional/physical) can become an idol - Hebrew "wound" = "asab" from the same root as "idol". The challenge is meant to become a servant to you not you to it. Is your misery a ministry?
- God is Scandalously forgiving - He forgives what we humans don't feel is worth forgiveness.
- We can only forgive others/ourselves as much as we feel forgiven!