2 Months and Change

As many of you know, I have struggled with smoking for quite awhile.  Over the last year, I've quit smoking.... twice.  The first time was in mid-january 2009.  That lasted for 28 days.  I don't even remember why I started back.  The second time was November 17, 2009 (which is a little ironic b/c it's the birthday of a very anti-smoking ex).  I did ok until our anniversary (11/27).  We went out of town, watched football (Roll Tide!), ate lots of great food and enjoyed some wine and then I gave in.

It didn't take me long to realize that no matter how much I "wanted" to smoke, it wouldn't be everything I dreamed it to be.  It wouldn't taste "right" and it wouldn't satisfy the craving because I would just want more and more until it burned all my taste buds off again and it would finally taste like I remembered.

My last cigarette was on December 4, 2009.  The next day, I felt like crap.  I prayed that God would remove the desire rather than give me strength to get through the cravings.  It was instant. I immediately felt... free.

I have attempted to smoke one time since 12/4 after a particularly difficult day/drama and I am not proud of that... but I will say that God protected me from myself.  I tried to light it twice and it just wouldn't stay lit... so I threw it away. Since that day, I have been around others smoking without even a hint of desire to do so myself. I truly do feel free from this habit and for those who know me, you know that only God could have done that!